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Carded at the Movies

Posted on December 11, 2004 by under Life, Movies.    

I should be in the freakin’ movie theater watching Blade Trinity right now. After all, Brian bought our tickets this morning and everything so we wouldn’t have to fall in line at the box office. We left Abuelo’s in plenty of time so that we could be at the movie theater by 3:30 pm, get our snackies and secure good seats.

When I say good seats, I mean right smack dab in the middle. I MUST sit in the middle. I count the number of seats and everything. Yes, I’m psychotic like that. I absolutely can’t stand not being in the middle when I watch movies.

So Brian goes, “Do you want to go get our seats?”

At first I was like, “Nah – I’ll just wait for you.” But then I changed my mind when I saw the line for concession. I figured I had to get our seats before someone else grabs them. I gave Brian a quick kiss, took my movie ticket and headed to the ticket boy.

“Are you seating for Blade Trinity yet?” I asked.

He goes, “Yea – but I need to see your ID.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to see your identification,” like I didn’t know what ID stood for. What a dumb turd-bucket!

“Are you serious?” I was going to tell him how old I am but for some reason I can’t ever remember my age when I’m put on the spot. I hate that!

So all I could say was, “But I’m [uh..] old!”

I mean, how can you not fucking tell I’m over the age on 18? I’m almost 30! I have wrinkles! I have cellulite! Yes, I still have baby fat but I’m fucking OLD!! Ugh!

He counters, “But I can’t tell that.”

With a sigh of resignation I replied, “I don’t have my purse on me. I’ll have to go get it.”

Anyone who knows me knows that I NEVER EVER bring my purse anywhere that I go with Brian. If I have to bring my ID like when we go to a bar or watch a movie in the balcony I just give him my ID. Why the fuck would I want to lug around a purse when I know I’m not going to need anything in it? Brian didn’t tell me that I needed to bring my ID so I didn’t have it on me. We would have to drive all the way back home to get it and come back. What a pain!

I return to Brian who hasn’t moved an inch in the concession line.

“Let’s go get our money back,” I tell him.


“The ticket boy carded me and I don’t have my ID. We’d have to go back home and come back and I really don’t want to see the movie if I have to sit in BAD SEATS.”

Brian was pissed off because he really wanted to see the movie but he really couldn’t do anything because I had my mind made up. We weren’t going to see it because they had already upset me.

He goes, “Did you stumble when he asked how old you were?” He’s alluding to a time during our cruise when I wanted an alcoholic beverage.

It was at one of the bars on Lido and the guy carded me. Of course, I didn’t have my ID on me. I was in a freakin’ bikini! When the bartender asked for my age, all I could manage was “I’m a.. uh.. uh.. How old am I, baby?” Brian still picks on me about that.

“No, he didn’t ask me.. I was actually going to tell him but I couldn’t remember how old I was again so I just said I’M [uh..] OLD! What a fucking douchebag!”

“I can’t believe they carded you. They never card us. I guess if we would’ve gone in together, you probably wouldn’t have gotten carded.”

“Of course, they’re not going to card me when I’m with you! YOU HAVE GRAY HAIRS! They’re probably thinking I’m sure she’s old enough, she’s with a 40-year-old guy!”

Brian and I were rolling with laughter. Picture the two of us in the car, laughing our asses off about our silly conversation. I was laughing so hard I was crying.

I really was ticked off, though. I wish I would’ve gotten that boy’s name and gotten him fired. I really wanted to watch the movie. I guess it’s a sign that I should do my school work. I would definitely much rather procrastinate by watching Blade Trinity than playing on the computer!

That douchebag will pay!

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