Archive for "Confessions"
Your Sex Life is Better Than Mine
Posted on October 20, 2012 by Ching under Confessions, Relationship, Sex.
Do you want to know how I know? It’s not because I’ve been stalking you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I know because I have a calendar app on my phone that I specifically use for tracking how many times Brian and I have been intimate in a month. It’s actually an app to track my menstrual cycle, but I put dots on the days that we have sex on there. I really like seeing a dot on every single day of the month, with the exception of the four or five days that I’m on my cycle. That hasn’t been the case lately, though. Do you know how many dots I have for October? Just one. The month is almost over and I have one measly dot.
With the exception of the year that Brian was on Zoloft about eight years ago, this has got to be the worst drought we’ve had ever. There’s a lot of factors contributing to this, but probably the one that I blame the most is the TV in the bedroom. They say that having a TV in the bedroom will ruin your sex life. I had no idea how true this statement was until recently. Looking back, I think our sex life was so much more active when we were living in the townhouse and didn’t have a TV in our bedroom. Of course, it helps that we didn’t have to do yard maintenance and projects around the house because we had all of that extra time for love making. LOL.
Anyway, if you do not have a TV in your bedroom already, do not get one. No matter how tempting it is. Even if you get a free one. Don’t do it. It’s a trap!
So far Brian and I have been able to maintain a pretty healthy sex life. We enjoy sexual intimacy about 2 to 3 times a week. It is less frequent than I would like, but it’s enough to keep me content. You’d think that, since we don’t have children, we would have sex everyday but, honestly, we are so busy that there are days we’re completely beat and are ready for bed when we get home. The problem with the TV is that there are some days that we would have a little bit of energy and maybe we could have made love, but that time was spent watching TV instead. Ugh. Putting a TV in our bedroom is probably the worst thing that we could have ever done to our sex life.
What happened this month? Well, we had one last sexual encounter before Brian went on a two-week training tour. As luck would have it, the day of his return was around the time of the start of my monthly menstrual cycle. While he was away he told me that he was looking forward to coming home. I had to burst his bubble by reminding him that my period starts when he comes home. That meant no sex for another week.
We did have an opportunity the day he arrived because my period didn’t start right away, except the TV ruined that for me. He arrived on Saturday and we had a lot of stuff to do that day, but managed to squeeze a nap in during the afternoon. He was really tired and deserved it. Anyway, when we were ready for bed that evening, he started watching the TV shows on the DVR that he missed while he was out of town. I waited patiently until he was done so that the sex could commence. Alas, I was tired too, and fell asleep before that happened.
I woke up somewhat cranky the next morning. Understandably so, because I haven’t had sex in several days. I was starving. I wasn’t trying to be subtle anymore. I flat out told Brian, “You’re going to have to have sex with me before period starts. It’s not here yet, so we still have a chance.” He just laughed. I’m not sure if he thought I was joking. I was dead serious, though. I wanted some sex, darn it!
Unfortunately for both of us, we had another busy day. We could have had sex before Misty came over for Parade of Homes, but again the TV got in the way. Brian was so enthralled with the live coverage of the space jump that we were watching that instead of having a quickie.
Anyway, we arrived back home from the Parade of Homes with just enough time to make dinner. Jay and Becca came over. The five of us had dinner over here and then Jay, Becca, Brian, and I watched the season premier of The Walking Dead after Misty left. She doesn’t watch the show and wasn’t particularly interested.
I went to the restroom right before we started the show, which we had to DVR because dinner ran late, and noticed that my monthly cycle had started. I told Brian that he was too late. No reaction. WTH? He told me later that he couldn’t react because we had company, but that he was just as upset as I was. Whatever.
Now that my period is finally over, he’s sick. He started not feeling well on Thursday and was pretty sick on Friday, but he went to work anyway. Brian and I rarely ever take sick days. That’s just the way we are. We like to save our sick leave for when we absolutely need them. I know people with no sick days at all, and I don’t understand it. Some people might have a hangover or a headache and decide to call in sick the next day. My outlook on taking sick days is the same as Brian’s (actually I think he got it from me because I’m kind of a workaholic and would probably live at work if I were single; thank God, I have Brian to keep me balanced). I treat my sick days like a savings account, only to be used when absolutely necessary. I think if something bad were to happen to me, I could probably go for six months before running out of sick days. Knock on wood. I hope nothing bad ever happens.
But I digress… Back to my whining about my sex life, or lack thereof. With my luck, once he starts feeling better, I will be the one getting sick and not wanting to have sex. FML. It doesn’t look like I will be having sex any time soon. Ugh.
We used to always get asked by random strangers if we were newlyweds. We would smile and tell them that we’ve been married for ten years and been together longer than that. Well, guess what. Now we’re starting to act like the old married couple that we are. Yuck. I want my sex life back. I want dots all over my calendar!
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Ching Plays Fifth Wheel
Posted on October 15, 2012 by Ching under Confessions, Food and Drink.
I had a great time hanging out with the Dills and the Phelpi at The Port of Wichita on Friday night, despite being the fifth wheel since my hubby was out of town on business. The Fabulous Fleshtones performed out there on Friday night and were awesome as always. I hadn’t heard them perform in a long time and it was very nice to see everyone. Doug’s wife Tammy was even there that night.
I was very bad that night and ate like a pig. I inhaled chips and salsa, and scarfed up my crispy chicken sandwich like I hadn’t eaten in days.
I don’t know what it is, but I’m inclined to pig out when people around me are actually trying to eat healthy. What is wrong with me?
The food wasn’t bad, but I was very disappointed that they no longer served the fried veggie platter, which was my most favorite appetizer to get over there. I had my heart set on stuffing my face with battered and deep fried broccoli, but I was denied. What a bummer! I had to settle for chips. That might be a sign, though. Someone up there is looking out for me and keeping me from getting fat. They’ve got their work cut out for them, though. LOL.
The Port of Wichita is actually a fun place. I used to think of it as a biker bar, but lots of different types of people go there. Not just bikers. Unlike other bars, the food is actually decent. And, the live music on weekends is a bonus. Show up before 8:30 PM and you won’t have to pay cover.
We almost had to pay cover on Friday night because Jay and Becca got lost picking me up. We got there at 8:29 PM and Jay managed to talk them out making us pay. LOL.
April hadn’t seen the house yet and, even though Jay, Becca, and Cory had already seen the house, it was everyone’s first time coming over since we moved our furniture in, so we decided to all hang out at my place. It worked out great because I conveniently live down the street from The Port now.
April, Becca, and I headed home first around 11-ish. The guys followed an hour later. They took forever because Jay got lost again. LOL. We talked to Brian who was watching us through the home security system.
We spent most of the time hanging out on the back deck because it was a beautiful evening. The fireplace provided enough warmth to make the deck cozy. Except, we realized that our house is not kid-friendly at all when I singed my hair. I was standing in front of the fireplace and I guess leaned back just enough for my hair to land on the fireplace. The metal is so hot that it singed my hair. It made a sizzling sound and made a disgusting the burnt hair smell. I had no idea that the metal would get that hot. I can just picture kids burning their hands on the hot metal of the fireplace. Good thing Brian and I don’t have any children or we would be in such big trouble. We’d probably be frequent customers at the local ER.
Anyway, thank you to Cory, April, Jay, and Becca for keeping me company on Friday night. Although you guys did keep me up so late that I felt like poop the next day and never made it to Zumba (thankfully my own Zumba class was canceled that day, but I did want to go to Gina Ann’s class — unfortunately, I didn’t feel well enough to be be able to go). So yeah. Not only did I eat horribly all weekend, but I also skipped my workouts. I was a total bum. =P
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It’s Not That Kind of Journey
Posted on August 25, 2012 by Ching under Confessions.
Brian and I had a funny conversation on the way to the new house to meet the Lowe’s delivery guys this morning. We have funny conversations all the time, so much so that I’m convinced it would make pretty good TV. Except I’d end up playing the role of a ditzy, Asian airhead. For someone presumably smart, some of the things that come out of my mouth are downright daft.
This conversation occurred right as we passed The Journey Church on Harry.
CHING: Let’s check out this church since we’re going to be living in this area now.
BRIAN: Why?
CHING: Don’t you want to go to church?
Brian just gave me a look of disdain.
CHING: It looks promising. Besides, I like Journey.
BRIAN: It’s not that kind of Journey!
We both cracked up. Brian added that, right at that moment our old friend Le Blanc (who used to say on a regular basis that I made is head hurt because of some of the things I’d say) was having an aneurysm.
It seems that there’s no convincing Brian to start going to church. Not by deception, coercion, or manipulation. He’s obviously not going to buy that Journey the church is in anyway associated with or related to Journey the band.
I wasn’t quite ready to give up yet, though. I looked up the church web site just now to get more information so I can make another attempt at persuading Brian to check it out. That’s when I found this photo.
I was like, “See! It is that kind of Journey!”
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Unbridled Bliss
Posted on August 15, 2012 by Ching under Confessions.
Ever had one of these days? It’s been a while for me too.
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Am I Manipulative?
Posted on August 14, 2012 by Ching under Confessions, Leadership.
We had a good leadership seminar/conference/training/meeting today. While I didn’t learn anything earth shattering, our guest speaker (Phillip Van Hooser) pretty much affirmed common sense concepts that we already know but don’t consistently practice (at least I know that I don’t and should), I think these meetings are valuable in that they remind us of the things that we often take for granted. It’s tough to get away when work is extremely hectic and schedules are beyond busy, but having these meetings once a year or so is a nice refresher. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the things that we should be doing. I suppose some people feel more confident about their leadership abilities. I need all the help and reminding that I can get.
Anyway, our speaker today said something that one of my bosses actually disagreed with. Van Hooser said, “You can’t, I can’t, no one can motivate someone to do something that they don’t want to do.” My boss argues that you can. As for me, I agree with Van Hooser’s statement. I felt bad about disagreeing with my boss’ views because I admire him a lot. He is one of the wisest people I know and is an amazing leader. He is pretty much the “Gil” of leadership. When it comes to cars and car maintenance, I ask myself WWGD? When it comes to work stuff, one of my first questions usually is WWTD? It was really difficult for me to have an opposing view but, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I agree with both of them.
Yes, I know that I can’t motivate someone to do something that they don’t want to do. I believe this statement. But, I also believe that you can make someone “want” to do something they otherwise wouldn’t do. The key for me is helping the other person realize that this is what they want. A coworker raised the issue of motivation vs. manipulation. I guess, to many people, convincing someone that they want to do something they didn’t previously want to do requires manipulation. However, I’m envisioning a totally different approach. I see it as helping someone come to the realization that they want to do something by asking them a series of questions. By having a good conversation with them, they’ll come to realize that performing the tasks expected or required by the company will ultimately help them achieve their goals or satisfy their needs. I don’t feel like I’m coercing or manipulating or threatening them into doing something they don’t want to do. SIDE NOTE: If you’ve met me, you know that I’m not assertive so it’s highly unlikely that I would be aggressive with anyone. I’m kind of a softie. Too soft in fact that I felt like I needed to take assertiveness training earlier this year in order for people to take me seriously (end side note). I feel like I’m merely helping the other person understand how our goals are aligned and that it really makes sense for them to do what is asked.
So am I unknowingly manipulating people? That’s quite a revelation. There is a line between motivation and manipulation, the latter being a negative way of getting the results that you desire. I’ve never really thought about it, but I’m now worried that I’m being manipulative without even realizing that I’m doing it. WTH? (File this under #leadershipconundrums.)
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