Dirty Sanchez!
Posted on January 18, 2006 by Brian under Sex.
Have you ever seen the movie “The 40 Year Old Virgin” or “Deuce Bigalow 2”? If you have do you remember when they had conversations about giving someone a “Dirty Sanchez” or a “Cleveland Steamer” or even a “Donkey Punch”. Did you ever wonder what they were talking about or even if these positions really existed. What… no you say! You lying bastards!
Well here I am to help you twisted little perverts out. Now I know you always wanted to look these terms up but were too scared to because you thought “what if my wife catches me reading this” or “My husband might look at my internet history and find out that I’m looking at this and then I’ll never get him to quit asking for sex”. Well fear no more because I am here to help you sick degenerate fucks out. Here is a list of the nastiest sexual positions UNKNOWN to man. (more…)
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Close Call on Wednesday
Posted on January 15, 2006 by Ching under Babies.
We just got back from PETCO where we had to exchange a couple of items. The tee pee that you see in the picture above is actually pretty dangerous. It had worked for a few weeks and the suggies seemed to love it so we got two other similar items from PETCO. We got the zebra print this time. However, after the close call we had on Wednesday we’ve resolved to throw the ones we have used away and then return the two unopened items. Thankfully, we hadn’t opened or used them yet so they were still in the original packaging and in brand new condition. They were nice enough to exchange them for other items at PETCO. We got something for the cats and then a hammock for the suggies and, with our returned items, we only had to pay $10.
We still lost some money though because we had to throw away the two leopard print items (a tee pee and a small pouch). There is nothing that we could do, though. We can’t keep them in the cage because they’re unsafe and we couldn’t really give them away. So the trash is the only place for them to go.
So what happened on Wednesday? Well, on Wednesday morning I was up early because I had to be at work early all week for training. I checked on the suggies per usual before getting on with getting ready for work. I just glanced in their cage briefly and didn’t even notice anything.
Then as Brian was saying goodbye to them before he left for work, he started yelling for me to come and help him. I thought they had accidentally escaped the cage or something. When I got to the room Brian explained that Ginger and Star were stuck together. They were tangled with a thread from the tee pee.
Brian and I quickly worked to remove the tee pee from the cage. At this point, Ginger and Star were both really panicky and they were totally freaking out. I had to put gloves on to keep them from biting me as I tried to detach the clip that hooks the tee pee to the top of the cage.
After we got the cage out, we had to find the thread and cut it. We had to cut it in a couple of places before we finally got Ginger and Star detached from the tee pee. Then came the really hard part.
Ginger and Star had struggled so much to try to get away from each other and the tee pee that they’d tangled the thread very tightly around their feet. The thread had dug in so deep that we couldn’t even see it. They wouldn’t quit moving either. We tried to get an exacto knife to cut the thread but the little slivers of it we could see were so tight against their feet and because they kept trying to get away there was no way to cut in places and not stab them.
Brian and I figured we would just have to take them to the vet. So I called Cimarron across the street. They were closed until eight o’clock. They did give me an emergency phone number to call. I called that number and they told me that since it’s after midnight (this was all happening about seven in the morning on Wednesday; I think it was quarter till seven when we discovered them because that’s when Brian usually leaves for work) it’s $80 per animal. Since the two of them are stuck together, they would charge $80 for the first animal and then $40 for the second animal and then any procedures that would need to be done are extra.
I told Brian this and he said he wanted to take them to El Paso Animal Clinic in Derby because he thought they opened at six. I argued that no one opens at six but I called El Paso anyway just to pacify Brian. I got the same we are closed and won’t open until eight message.
I looked at Brian and we both looked at the suggies. We couldn’t leave them in that condition for another hour. We were scared of what damage had already been done and terrified that it may yet get worse. We didn’t want our babies to be permanently disfigured.
“We’re just going to have to take them to the emergency vet,” I concluded.
“Alright,” he said. “Give me the credit card.”
As he was leaving Brian called his work to let them know that he would be coming in late because of an emergency. I called the emergency vet back and told her that my husband was on his way with our sugargliders and he’ll be there in a few minutes. I had to still go to work because of training so I couldn’t go with them.
All morning I was worried about our babies. I was relieved when I finally got a voice mail message from Brian telling me that Ginger and Star are both fine. They thread was successfully untangled and they’re separated. They seemed to be unharmed. He also told me some good news about the cost.
Since the emergency vet was unfamiliar with sugargliders they said they would not charge us for the emergency visit as long as we took both girls to Cimarron that same day. Brian went straight from the emergency vet to Cimarron. I think he was the first customer there that day.
Anyway, the vet inspected Ginger and Star. She said that their feet were still warm so she didn’t think there was any loss of circulation on their limbs. Ginger and Star had several cuts and scratches from trying to get away from each other so she gave Brian an antibiotic to give to the girls once a day for seven days. She said their feet are swollen so they would be sore for a couple of days but they’d be just fine.
The total vet bill came to $47 and change. That total includes the medicine. Brian and I feel really blessed that our pets didn’t suffer any permanent damage and the total cost was a lot less than we expected. We were thinking that we would have to pay $200 to $250 bucks easy. Someone up there must be really watching over us.
Anyway, I noticed that Ginger and Star were not very active that night. I got up at around two in the morning to check on them and they were sleeping. There was still lots of food left so they hardly ate. They spent most of the night sleeping instead of playing. I was kind of worried but I knew that as long as we kept giving them their antibiotics they’d soon be well. The next night they were almost back to normal. They were playing with their toys and running in the wheels. Last night I even heard barking. So I think they’re almost back to feeling a hundred percent.
Brian said that we probably don’t have to give them any more medicine after today but I told him that we probably should until the medicine is all used up. It hasn’t been seven days and I think we should continue. I think he’s just tired of having to chase them around the cage and getting scratched up when we give them their meds at five or six in the morning.
The first day was pretty easy. I caught them pretty easily. Now they have wised up, though. Each day it’s been more of a task to catch them and pull them out of the cage because they are so fast and will not let go. That medicine must taste really nasty! LOL!
It will help them get better, though. And that’s our main concern right now. We want Ginger and Star to be healthy again.
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Protected: Body Bouncer, Anyone?
Posted on January 15, 2006 by Ching under Sex.
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No One Wants Our Crap
Posted on January 14, 2006 by Ching under Life.
Remember when we put the old couch in the front yard a few years ago and it was gone within a couple of hours? Well, we figured that we would do the same with our other couch set that we were trying to get rid of.. I mean, we considered our options and everything. We could (a) donate it to the DAV, (b) dump it in the huge commercial dumpster behind Big Lots late one night, or (c) leave it on the front yard like we did the last time and hope someone takes it. Which option did you think we chose? Naturally, being the lazy people that we are, we chose the option that required the least effort. After day two, I was getting really worried. No one wanted to take our crap. I told Brian that we’ll just have to suck it up and haul the sofa set to the Big Lots dumpster (I really wanted to take it to the DAV but Brian convinced me that the couch set is too crappy and at this point is not even worthy of taking to the DAV – they would only laugh at us) but we both ended up getting busy and forgetting all about it. The next thing we know, it’s gone. What a relief, right? Wrong! I just had to pay a $35 bill from the trash company for the sofa disposal. Had we just hauled it to the dumpster (which by the way is highly illegal unless you have permission from the dumpster owner), we could have saved ourselves our hard-earned $35. Oh, well. You live and learn. Speaking of no one wanting our crap, the other day we found that we had accidentally left the garage door open all night. We quickly surveyed the garage and found that there was nothing taken or missing. Normal people would be relieved. Not us. We were deeply offended offended by this. Once again, no one wants our crap!
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Can’t Keep Drama Away
Posted on January 14, 2006 by Ching under Life.
This week has been one crisis after another. On Monday I got a series of text messages from Jen. Here are some of the highlights.
Ashley slept with Ray
I can’t say I was surprised. Ray is, after all, a guy and Ashley is, after all, Ashley.
Ray says nothing happened
And then shortly after that I got another text saying..
Ray said he went home with her n she kissed him
And then this one..
She said she didn’t think we were friends n e more since you guys aren’t
So my text back to her was..
My dear sister, there are far too many desperate, promiscuous women out there. I cannot possibly befriend them all just to protect your boyfriend.
Jen found that funny but she said it wasn’t as funny as some of the others that she had sent out since the onset of this whole saga which she said were downright hilarious. Seriously, though, even if Jen and Ashley were BFF I think this would have happened anyway. Why? Because there is no friend code. I’m not going to list all the times that the friend code has been violated. There are too many examples to list. What gets me is that everyone is always so shocked when this happens. It doesn’t surprise me because I’ve stopped believing in it years ago. I figured that this outlook will save me from disappointments later in life. Oh, and get this. Jen sends me this text message also.
Ray said that Ashley told him you cheated on Bri. Is that true?
I don’t know why people create these messes and then try to drag other people into it. Just because they can’t get their relationships to work, they try to destroy the relationships of others. It really hurt my feelings that people were saying bad things about me. I was hurt because I had no idea what I had done to provoke the attack. I can see if I had said or done something to deserve it. I mean, I admit that I say mean things too when people make me mad. It’s human nature. But for my name to be dragged in mud when I haven’t even done anything just thoroughly upset me. Anyway, Brian advised me not to do anything. He said the best thing to do is just ignore it. He said they’re always doing these things and the smart thing to do is just not get sucked into it. But I figured that since I’m not part of this circle that I would be safe from it. How wrong I was! Sarah was one of the people present that night. She’s always been really nice to me. She even gave me some of her handmedowns. I really appreciate them too because I have been too broke to shop for clothes. I just could not believe that she would be part of this. I wanted to prove to myself that this wasn’t the case, that Sarah hadn’t said bad things about me so despite Brian’s advice, I sent Sarah a text message the next day. My text was rather confrontational in tone and I regret sending it now. It was something like “How could you say something like that? What have I ever done to you?” Kind of accusatory and I had to apologize for it after wards. She sent me the following response..
Well I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even talk to him. I’m sorry if someone else did.
I don’t really know any other people who would know Ray also, so I replied with something like “Are you saying it was all Ashley?” I might have said something like, “How could she do this?” or “I can’t believe she’d be that desperate.” So Sarah sends me this,
No she did not say anything either. I think Jen is trying to make an uncomfortable work environment because of what happened with Ray and Ashley kissing.
So I asked Jen about it and you know what Jen does? She tells Ray that I am doubting her so he needs to clear it up. So that very morning (I think all this exchange happened before eight o’clock) I got a voicemail message from Ray explaining that Ashley was the one who told him and that Sarah never said anything about it etc. This is the reason I had to apologize to Sarah for my first text message. I explained to her that Ray cleared it up and I was sorry for thinking that she had anything to do with it and hoped that she didn’t think I was upset with her. After that, I got the following text message..
I don’t want to get into this but I feel it’s very possible that Ray may be making it up. He also told Jen it was all Ashley’s fault about the kiss which I know is not true cause I witnessed it. As well as him calling her all night saying he and Jen were broke up. So he has some lies going on here.
I just replied to her that it doesn’t really matter. I just didn’t appreciate my name getting sullied by all the dirt throwing when it was a mess that I had nothing to do with at all. At this point it’s hard to say who is telling the truth and who isn’t. I’m already kind of a recluse because I have trust issues. For a while I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I’m just being too paranoid. When things like this happen, though, it makes me think that I am smart to be reclusive. You can’t trust anyone. What I’ve learned though, is even if you keep people at a distance they’ll still find ways to hurt you.
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