If you can’t win at poker by sheer talent and skill, you have to come up with something. That’s what I say. But you know, the baseball cap and sunglasses and hoodies are all overdone. So you have to come up with something original.

Last time, I played poker looking like a school girl. Man, did I feel silly! It didn’t work either. Since that didn’t work, I figured I would resort to just being an all around distraction.

I was planning on wearing my red plaid skirt and a flimsy yellow shirt that you see in this picture. I wasn’t going to wear a bra so that when anyone looked at me to figure out if I was bluffing or not they’d get distracted by the nipples showing through my shirt. Ha! Ha! Ha!

The short plaid skirt has distraction written all over it as well. It’s so short that if I bend over slightly you see my ass. I’m not really averse to showing my ass for the sake of winning poker against two thousand other people. And, as you know, I just had my Brazillian bikini wax yesterday so I’m bare down there. It’s very nice!

I asked for Brian’s opinion as to what the weather would be like and whether it would be conducive to this type of outfit. He said it might be cold so I decided against it. Instead I’m wearing regular old jeans and a white top. Pretty boring but the jeans are my favorite Abercrombie & Fitch pair that I’ve been wearing so long they have a hole on the inside corner of my right back pocket. As you know, sometimes I forgo wearing underwear. The last time I wore these, Jason was picking on me. He said that if I’m going to wear holey jeans I should really consider wearing underwear. I didn’t realize that the hole was big enough to see my ass through then, but I’ve embraced the hole since then. It doesn’t bother me none. I’ll take a picture of it next time and then you guys can decide if it’s time to retire these jeans.

Speaking of suggestions.. Lance, at work, suggested a couple of weeks ago that I wear an eyepatch next time I play. He said to wear it over one eye, go to the restroom, and come back with it over the other eye. He figured that would drive people crazy. Like wearing an eyepatch wouldn’t be distracting enough! Maybe then I’ll start playing crazy pirate poker instead of crazy monkey poker! And that might just work because the crazy monkey poker strategy isn’t working.

The other day Lance brought up the eyepatch idea again. He said to just wear it over the middle of my forehead this time, which will give me the whole cyclops look. Ha! Ha! Ha! I love it!

Unfortanely, I don’t have an eyepatch to wear today. And I’m not wearing the outfit I planned to wear. So I guess I just have to rely on skill. And, with my recent poker rut, I’m beginning to doubt I have any. If anything, I need to outlast Brian at least. Wish me luck.