Weddings used to always make me cry.  Probably because I thought I would never ever experience that happiness for myself.  Now that I am married, I’m far less emotional about it.  Feel free to draw your own conclusions based on this statement.  I won’t have a fit.

Anyway, Brian and I sometimes talk about other couples’ infidelities and adulterous activities.  Not so much to gossip but to assess our own feelings about the subject.  He is of the belief most people cheat on their significant others because of factors such as loneliness, boredom and overall unhappiness with their present relationship.  I, on the other had, believe that (although the factors that he has described play a part) opportunity is the key factor.  I think that if there is no opportunity for unfaithfulness, despite unfathomable loneliess, the most extreme case of boredom and infinite misery, infidelity cannot occur.  And in the same way, if the opportunity exists, even if the other conditions do not exist, there is a posibility for infidelity.

He didn’t seem quite convinced (and if you knew my history of BS, out-of-this-world hypotheses then you’d understand his skepticism) so I told him that I would do some research to prove that I am correct.  He had this worried look on his face so I had to reassure him that I was merely looking up the subject in Google and not doing any actual field research (his main concern).  Again, if you knew the type of person that I am, this may be a concern for you too.  Just kidding.

I haven’t found difinitive research on my exact hypothesis.  Either I’m not searching hard enough or it doesn’t exist.  To clarify, what I am looking for is research that shows the correlation between opportunity and actual infidelity.  I haven’t found it, so maybe I’ll just have to take it upon myself to conduct my own research and publish my findings?  I’ll have to put this on my list of things to do before I die (including coming up with a standardized sex toys power measuring system that can be posted on the package; an idea I came up with almost two years ago but I’ve yet to actually do anything about).

At any rate, through the course of doing my research, I encountered other bits of information that I couldn’t help but disagree with.  For instance, it’s commonly believed that women stray for emotional factors and men stray for sexual/physical reasons.  I think an equal number of men and women stray for both reasons.  Women are just as likely to stray for sexual/physical reasons and men are just as likely to stray in order to satisfy emotional needs that are not being satisfied by their current partners.  In fact, some research has shown that more and more men cheat on their spouses to find emotional intimacy (something that I didn’t think classified as infidelity before, but I now realize is a form of being unfaithful much like having sexual relations outside your marriage would be) rather than just to satisfy their libido.  And the opposite is true for women.  Women nowadays are merely looking to satisfy their sexual needs and are less interested in establishing an emotional extra-marital relationship.

But what I’m really curious about is how this relates to my marriage.  I would consider my relationship with Brian to be a healthy one.  He is my best friend in the whole wide world.  He loves me unconditionally.  We enjoy doing the same activities and we are compatible in every way.  Granted he has his short-comings (as I do as well) but he will do everything in his power to satisfy my every need and desire (except for my more unreasonable fetishes; but then there are things that I cannot provide to him also).  The more that I research the subject and examine my own relationship with my husband, the more I realize how much I have taken for granted.

Brian may not be handy around the house.  He may not mow the lawn as frequently as he should.  He may be lazy..  But there are so many other wonderful things that he does.  He’s always sensitive to my feelings and would never ever dream of saying anything that would hurt me.  He’s always been a true gentleman who treats me like a queen no matter where we are.  He will do things that he doesn’t like (ie dancing) just to make me happy.  He always makes me feel good, no matter how crappy I look or feel.  He takes care of me when I’m sick and bitchy.  He endures the verbal abuse when I’ve had a bad day.  He’s always ready to make love when I need it and he understands when I’m not in the mood.  He tries to include me in decisions (no matter how big or small).  He tries to include me in activities, even things that I have no interest in, just so I don’t feel left out.  The list is endless.  I could go on forever.  And it’s because of this that I have come to realize that a bond like ours renders infidelity impossible.  Therefore I shouldn’t waste my time researching what causes infidelity because it is pointless.  Instead, I should focus more on the glorious, wonderful aspects of my own relationship and find a way to share it with others.  If people could experience the same happiness in their own relationships, then there would be no infidelity and, as a result, no need to even study the subject.