Archive for "Poker"
Open Foot, Insert Mouth
Posted on July 23, 2005 by Ching under Poker.
At the Wheatland Jam checkin, one of the event staff stopped my friend Chad. “Wait. I have to wand you,” he tells Chad. “Why?” I asked. “Oh, just to make sure that he’s not carrying anything that can be used as a weapon.” “What about me? Don’t you want to wand me?” He looked at me and kind of chuckled, “You really don’t have anywhere to put anything.” He did wave his wand around bit to pacify me, though. I say everyone should get the same treatment. If Chad gets wanded, then you need to wand me also. Then it dawned on me that my statement had a bit of sexual inuendo. I am slow sometimes. Anyway, I had to tell Chad about the time when Brian and I were at KFC and I asked him to eat my biscuit. It made sense to me at the time because I don’t like biscuits and my meal came with one. I wanted Brian to eat it so we wouldn’t have to toss it. Brian had to explain to me that biscuit is also a euphemism for female genitalia. After over ten years in the States, I’m still getting the hang of American English. At least, now I know better than to ask that same question in public. Today was fun. Though, it would’ve been more fun if I actually won the $2500 and trip for two to Vegas. 😛
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Typical Poker Text Convo
Posted on July 1, 2005 by Ching under Poker, Sex.
ME: My table is full off callers. I pre-flop raise my pocket tens and I lose to a guy holding queen six. BRIAN: My table sucks too. You wanna dump and go home and have sex? ME: Sure. BRIAN: Let me know when you go all in. ME: You let me know when you go all in. BRIAN: Alright, I’m going all in. ME: No, no, no. Wait! A few minutes later Brian comes by my table. “I’m out,” he says. “Why?” I ask him. “I told you wait.” He just shrugs and walks off. Fast forward to the last hand before break. A couple of people call the $100 blind. Shawn raises to $200. Darren re-raises to $400. Matt and Ken both fold. I go all in over the top. Everyone else folds except for Darren who calls my all in. I happened to have more chips than he did so I ended up taking $400 back. We roll our cards up. He has ace queen of clubs. I have pocket nines. Flop comes eight, eight, junk. Nines are holding so far. A queen comes on the turn — aah, but it’s the queen of spades. One more spade and I get a flush. Sure enough, another spade came on the river. Four spades on the board plus my nine of spades. I took the hand with a flush. It’s funny how the lead changes with every card that is turned over. First I was in the lead, then he took it by pairing his queens and then I ended up winning the pot. So we chip up and then it’s break time. I play a hand of knock poker. As we are starting, I get this text message from Brian saying “Come lay on the couch with me.” We lay together for a bit. We agree to go home and have sex as soon as I get knocked out. Although, I think this was just a ploy because Brian had nothing to do and was bored. So then break is over and we resume play. Second or third hand in, I pre-flop raise my ace king. I had two callers. Dude next to me called my $600 raise with a ten seven. I guess because the cards were suited. LOL. I bluff at the pot and go all in. Little did I know that the guy tripped his tens. Who would’ve figured that he would call with junk? Anyway, I had a feeling. Brian was already out, though. There was no reason to stay. Besides, who would pass up an opportunity to have sex? As we were walking out Brian goes, “I feel like having some ice cream.” Delaying the inevitable. But I couldn’t turn down Cold Stone. Our favorite thing there is to split chocolate ice cream with almonds and chocolate shavings in a chocolate dipped waffle bowl. Yummy! So we agree to have sex after ice cream. I’m waiting for him to get done now. Okay, he’s finished eating his ice cream. Time for sex. Holler at you all later! =P
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Protected: Let Me Explain
Posted on June 25, 2005 by Ching under Poker, School.
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Poker tomorrow…
Posted on June 17, 2005 by Ching under Poker.
Is going to be at the Dill’s at 9pm. Let’s not let Jason and Amber win. They’ve cleaned us out the last two times! I’m broke. I need the money. You all need to let me win this time! 😛
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I’m Number One This Week
Posted on June 17, 2005 by Ching under Poker.
I have to blog this because this may not be the case next week. 😛
I’m sorry to all of you who have to endure the hot air. If you are offended by people tooting their own horn, then I suggest you leave this site now.
Anyway, I’m tempted to play in the 10 pm invite session just because I’m number one on the invite list. 🙂
I guess that may not mean much to many of you, but this is a first for me. This is an amazing achievement; one that I will probably never be able to repeat. So I’m really torn.
On the one hand, I want to play in the late session (which, if I do well, probably will not be over until after 1 am at least). On the other hand, I want to get up at 7 am tomorrow so I can go workout, which itself is a matter of high priority because I haven’t worked out in two weeks due school, work and other obligations.
So anyway, we’ll more than likely play the 7 pm poker session and then leave right after both Brian and I are out. I really need to workout. I feel like I’ve gained ten pounds, just in the last two weeks.
Actually, I have an even greater reason to workout tomorrow. I won’t be able to worout on Sunday so Saturday is really the only day I will be able to do it.
We’re celebrating Brian’s birthday, Brian’s grandmother’s birthday, Brian’s parents’ belated anniversary and Fathers’ Day tomorrow. It’s going to be the whole family: Brian’s parents, Brian’s grandparents, my parents, my grandmother and the two of us. Okay, so maybe it’s not quite the whole family, but close enough. We’re going to be at Legends for champagne brunch. That’ll be a really fattening meal! I’m going to try to take pictures before we over indulge. 🙂
I’ll be posting the pictures in the Flickr album as always.
Happy Fathers’ Day to all the dads out there!
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