Joined at the Hip

It always drives Brian crazy when I offer to do stuff for other people because it always ends up involving him because we are joined at the hip. We do everything together. So when I volunteer for things or when I want to do something that maybe isn’t that interesting to him, he inevitably ends up going albeit reluctantly.

I remember that I wanted to go attend one of the wind farm hearings last year. Boring, right? I know, but I find that stuff interesting and I was really curious about it and I very much wanted to go. Besides, the venue chosen for that hearing was the WSU Metroplex. It’s not that far from where we live. I managed to convince Brian to go.

Of course, everyone pitied Brian for having to sit through the whole proceedings because of me. While most spouses will take their partner to a nice dinner date, I take mine to a hearing about wind farms. That’s just me. I do have my moments, though. I did take Brian to Jamaica for a special anniversary trip last year. You kind of have to take the bad with the good.

Anyway, he was actually glad that he went with me to the hearing because there were some strange folks there. They weren’t strange in a harmful sort of way, but Brian tends to be a little over protective.

When I found out that Jan and her mom were thinking of either parking her car at the airport or taking a cab there, I offered to take her. The fact that we would need to go at 4:30 AM wasn’t even a consideration. I figured I could do this to help her so she doesn’t have to pay for cab fare or parking. What I failed to recognize was in doing so, I was unintentionally volunteering not just my time but Brian’s as well because we are so inseparable.

Brian is not a morning person at all and he is one who values his sleep a lot. I knew I had to talk to him about it. I explained that I did not expect him to go with me and that I offered to do this so I planned to take them on my own — without his help. He tends to worry for no reason so I had reminded him that I have dropped him off and picked him up from the airport by myself (although, we ran into some friends on one occasion) a few times now and I have been fine.

We had agreed this would be okay until Friday night. I’m not sure what happened, but after poker Brian decided he wanted to go. I reassured him that I had driven to the airport and back many times before, but he insisted on coming because I haven’t done it at four in the morning. I’m thinking, if anything that would be a safer time to go actually because there are hardly any cars on the road. I didn’t protest too much, though, because I do like his company. I enjoy having him around. We took them to the airport, came home, and went back to bed. :P

I just feel guilty sometimes because I think he’s not doing it out of want, but out of obligation. Kind of like when I’ve convinced him to go dancing in the past. He doesn’t enjoy it, but he goes because it’s what I want to do. I just hope he doesn’t end up resenting me in the long run. We’ve been together almost ten years now. So far, so good.

I did volunteer to work during the rate case hearing this week. I told him he could sit this one out, though. Since I’ll be working, it will probably be extremely boring for him. Even more so than the last one because on that one, I didn’t have to work and simply attended as a spectator. We got to sit in the audience and enjoy that one together. (Well, enjoy in my case. Endure is probably the more appropriate word in Brian’s case.) The plan is to just have him pick me up at the conclusion of the event. We’ll see how well that works out. :)

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"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."

~ Leo Tolstoy