Am I Manipulative?
Posted on August 14, 2012 by Ching under Confessions, Leadership.
We had a good leadership seminar/conference/training/meeting today. While I didn’t learn anything earth shattering, our guest speaker (Phillip Van Hooser) pretty much affirmed common sense concepts that we already know but don’t consistently practice (at least I know that I don’t and should), I think these meetings are valuable in that they remind us of the things that we often take for granted. It’s tough to get away when work is extremely hectic and schedules are beyond busy, but having these meetings once a year or so is a nice refresher. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the things that we should be doing. I suppose some people feel more confident about their leadership abilities. I need all the help and reminding that I can get.
Anyway, our speaker today said something that one of my bosses actually disagreed with. Van Hooser said, “You can’t, I can’t, no one can motivate someone to do something that they don’t want to do.” My boss argues that you can. As for me, I agree with Van Hooser’s statement. I felt bad about disagreeing with my boss’ views because I admire him a lot. He is one of the wisest people I know and is an amazing leader. He is pretty much the “Gil” of leadership. When it comes to cars and car maintenance, I ask myself WWGD? When it comes to work stuff, one of my first questions usually is WWTD? It was really difficult for me to have an opposing view but, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I agree with both of them.
Yes, I know that I can’t motivate someone to do something that they don’t want to do. I believe this statement. But, I also believe that you can make someone “want” to do something they otherwise wouldn’t do. The key for me is helping the other person realize that this is what they want. A coworker raised the issue of motivation vs. manipulation. I guess, to many people, convincing someone that they want to do something they didn’t previously want to do requires manipulation. However, I’m envisioning a totally different approach. I see it as helping someone come to the realization that they want to do something by asking them a series of questions. By having a good conversation with them, they’ll come to realize that performing the tasks expected or required by the company will ultimately help them achieve their goals or satisfy their needs. I don’t feel like I’m coercing or manipulating or threatening them into doing something they don’t want to do. SIDE NOTE: If you’ve met me, you know that I’m not assertive so it’s highly unlikely that I would be aggressive with anyone. I’m kind of a softie. Too soft in fact that I felt like I needed to take assertiveness training earlier this year in order for people to take me seriously (end side note). I feel like I’m merely helping the other person understand how our goals are aligned and that it really makes sense for them to do what is asked.
So am I unknowingly manipulating people? That’s quite a revelation. There is a line between motivation and manipulation, the latter being a negative way of getting the results that you desire. I’ve never really thought about it, but I’m now worried that I’m being manipulative without even realizing that I’m doing it. WTH? (File this under #leadershipconundrums.)
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Newport Grill
Posted on August 13, 2012 by Ching under Food and Drink, Reviews.
I thought Bonefish Grill’s happy hour was really good. Newport Grill’s happy hour specials are even better. You can never go wrong with $3 off starters and appetizers and $5 cocktails. Woot!
Some coworkers and I ate at Newport Grill (at Bradley Fair) on Friday in celebration of Darcy’s 10th service anniversary. Her anniversary was actually last month, but July was really hectic so we couldn’t find a good day/time to get together until last week.
It worked out for the best, though. It would have been too hot to sit out on the patio in July. We had a table close to the waterfall. Actually, Newport Grill has the best patio in town. There’s not a bad table out there. Anyway, the weather last Friday was awesome. The cool breeze and the sound of the waterfall made for a wonderfully relaxing anniversary celebration lunch.
I got to try a couple of their starters: fried calamari (pictured above) and the warm olives and fresh ricotta served with sliced ciabatta bread (below).
Both were very good.
Amy and Isaac both had the grilled chicken sandwich. I only took one photo because their plates looked identical.
Guest of honor Darcy had the lobster roll sandwich. I didn’t get a picture of Jan’s or Ginger’s meals. My phone takes too long so I’m never quick enough to get pictures of everyone’s food before they start digging in. I can usually only get pictures of plates that are easily within reach.
I was trying to be good so I opted for a Caesar salad in place of the fries. I regretted it after though, because everyone’s fries looked so good and the salad was just okay. It was prettier than it tasted.
My crab cake sandwich was delicious, though. That had to be one of the best crab cakes I’d ever had. I guess Jan tried to order the same thing, but they brought her out the crab cake appetizer instead of the sandwich. I made sure to specify sandwich to our server because of the $2 difference. The sandwich is $13 and the appetizer is $15. It doesn’t make sense, but whatever. Oh, I also noted that it read crab cake rather than crab cakes (as it does at other restaurants) so I figured that you only get one. Call me cheap, but $15 for a single crab cake is expensive. No matter how good it is.
Then again, people don’t go to Newport Grill for cheap meals. You go because the seafood is fresh and the food is delicious. The fancy patio and wonderful outdoor ambiance is just an added bonus. It was also nice that the weather was on our side.
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Bebot’s Got a New Belt
Posted on August 13, 2012 by Ching under Babies, Things to Do.
Bebot got a new serpentine belt just in time for a couple of out of town trips. The belt probably could have lasted a few thousand more miles, but Brian and I are uber cautious. Our motto has always been, better be safe than sorry. Okay, we have a few mottos. But that is one of them.
It probably would have cost us less to do it ourselves. Brian watched the guy do it and he said it was pretty simple. I guess we will know for the next one.
Anyway, I’m so glad that I listened to Gil. Having a second opinion helps sometimes. Even if just to make you feel better about spending the money on maintenance.
As these things go, preventative is always better because it’s always more expensive to fix something after it’s already broken. Specially since it usually causes a bunch of other problems also. Plus, no one wants to get stranded on the side of the rode. Aside from the inconvenience, you now have to add towing costs on top of everything else. A really expensive one at that, depending on where you are.
Note to mom: It may be time to replace your serpentine belt also. But this is probably something that dad and Brian can do together. The part is usually only $20-$40. Let us know when you want to do it.
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We Finally Closed
Posted on August 12, 2012 by Ching under Life.
Brian and I met mom at the new house after my Zumba class on Thursday night to confirm that the required repairs had been completed. Our closing day was contingent upon this. Thankfully, everything was done as promised.
Mom took this photo of me and Brian on our front porch. It’s our first photo at the new house. These next photos were taken the next day at Stewart Title when we closed.
Closing took exactly an hour. Everyone survived. Though Brian didn’t want to part with the cashier’s check that we had to bring for closing, he didn’t pass out. No one had a heart attack. LOL. We both felt like puking, but we got through it.
Now we get to start moving. Yippeee!
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Extremely Happy Hour at Bonefish
Posted on August 11, 2012 by Ching under Food and Drink.
If you’ve not had happy hour at Bonefish Grill yet, you’re missing out.
Bang Bang Shrimp and Bang Bang Tacos are just two of the $5 items on the happy hour menu. Drinks are half off also.
Mom treated Brian and me to Bonefish on Wednesday night, I think as consolation, because the repairs that were supposed to be completed that day did not get done. There was nothing for us to check/confirm completion so instead of having us meet her at the house, we met at the restaurant instead.
She suggested P.F. Chang’s at first, but Brian and I were both craving some Bang Bang Shrimp. We countered with Bonefish (which is just around the corner) and, luckily, she agreed. Bonefish Grill did not disappoint. I have to say, theirs is one of the best happy hour offering around these parts. The drinks still aren’t cheap, but if you can’t get quality food like theirs for $5 anywhere else. And the best part? Mom bought so dinner was FREE!
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