I See Dead People!
Posted on October 24, 2005 by Brian under Life.
On Thursday I was at work taking calls like normal. One of the calls I took was from a customer that operated “Yoder Embalming Services”. She just needed to make a payment but since I only had a few min till my lunch I decided to talk to her a little. She said that I was very professional and that she really needed someone like me to work in her office. I asked her “Doing what!” she told me that the job would include a wide variety of things like embalming bodies, delivering them to the morticians for their final dress up and retrieving the bodies from the morgue. Their might be some other little jobs like answering the phones and speaking to police and clients and stuff. I thought to myself “This is the perfect job for me, No bitchy people complain about their service, No angry customer cursing ME out because THEY cant pay their bill and we are going to cut their service off, Just dead people, silence, no drama, just dead people. I asked the woman what happen to the person that she had before, since she said she needed someone professional I assumed that she must have recently let go a person that was not. She said that the last guy was let go because he would do things like get stoned, turn on the answering machine and then go have sex with his girlfriend in the embalming room, or in the delivery van or anywhere else he could find (Ok, that’s just gross). She said that he would also carry a gun with him (like the dead people are going to get up and mug him, what the heck do you need a dammed gun for) and finally I guess the thing that pushed her over the edge was that he delivered a load of bodies to the Mortuary and told the man their “Dude, get-em while their cold”. Me, I found that part a little funny, but evidently morticians don’t have a sense of humor. I finally decided this morning that I would not do it. My wife was concerned about the smell and I know for a fact that I would definitely smell from that job working with decaying bodies and chemicals. I wanted to ensure that I would have a wife to come home too. So instead I will continue with my endeavor to get a better job threw perseverance and applying at every possible acceptable position available.
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