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Stages of Grief

Posted on November 15, 2004 by under Life.    

You know how good things happen to you sometimes and then shitty things happen to you sometimes too?  Well, this has been a week of shitty things.

On Saturday, I got up bright eyed and bushy tailed, all gung ho for my (now pretty regular) Saturday morning workout regimen.  Step (aerobics) for an hour, then hi/low (high and low impact interval aerobics) for 45 minutes right after than and then PHAT (pretty hips, abs and thights) for 30 minutes after that.  Sarah and I decided we wanted to play racquetball and since there weren’t any courts available at the North branch of the YMCA (where we do our regular Saturday morning workout), we drove to the downtown branch.  We met this lady who was quite a character but that’s another blog entry on its own.  After playing racquetball, we have lunch at this one Vietnamese resto on Broadway.

Sarah doesn’t want to bring Benny food so she tells him we’re at Applebees.  The plan totally backfires.  He wants food.  So we drive to Applebees (on 21st and Rock) to get Benny food.  We drive to Benny’s (Webb and Harry) and bring him his food.  Her excuse for not staying and hanging out is me; we’re supposedly running errands together so we make up things to do.

We go to the 13th Avenue Warren (13th and Greenwich) and get our movie tickets for later that evening (After the Sunset, which is pretty good by the way; Salma Hayek is way hotter than ever before).  Then we decide we want to go check out some workout clothes at Dick’s (21st and Rock again).  Nothing on sale at Dick’s.  We figure there will be cheaper workout clothes at the brand spankin’ new Super Target (21st and Greenwich).  With our morning and afternoon spent, we head on back downtown to YMCA where Sarah’s car is parked.

As we drive to get on the freeway, we notice that my car won’t shift.  It’s going at 5000 RPM and is not shifting.  Sarah freaks out and refuses to let me get on the highway.  This has happened before so I’m pretty used to it.  I’m like, “Whatever.”  The car finally budges and I convince Sarah that it’s okay to get on the highway.  I drop her off and then head on home.

On the way home, I notice that my “Check Engine Soon” light is lit.  That’s new.  Now I too am freakin’ out.  I decided to stay on regular 30 mph roads instead of taking 135 highway.  My route is Douglas to Woodlawn and Woodlawn home.  Slow and safe.

I don’t really drive anywhere.  We are usually in Brian’s car so poor little Sunny (my car, to those of you who are new to my world), who isn’t used to being driven around so much, probably couldn’t handle it and just got exhausted.  Maybe I gave her a minor stroke from all the driving back and forth we did.

Brian thinks that my ten year old car has finally gone tits up.  It’s about time, as far as he is concerned.  He’s been urging me to get a new car for a while.  Now it seems I don’t have a choice.  So let me describe to you the rollercoaster of emotions that I’ve experienced over the last three days, which Brian and I have creatively dubbed the “Seven Stages of Mourning the Demise of Your Beloved but Shitty Vehicle.”

My car is pefectly fine!  I refuse to buy a new car.  I will wait until 2006 when I am out of school.  My car still runs.  Until I am found stranded on the side of the road and I am among the creepy hitchhikers desperately trying to hitch a ride home, I shall not consider buying a new car.

What the fuck?!  How can this shit happen to me?  Why couldn’t it wait just two more freakin’ years?!  Two years!!  Is that so much to ask?!!

What are we going to do?  We are poor and we are broke.  We can’t afford another car payment?  Let alone another insurance payment!  I haven’t had a car payment in so long, I don’t even remember what it’s like!  How are we going to live?  What are we going to buy food with?  Does this mean I can’t shop whenever I feel like it anymore?

I can’t believe my car has finally crapped out on me.  My car that I’ve had since – forever!  My car that I drove to South Padre in..  My car that has had at least five different people get speeding tickets in..  My car that has witnessed countless road heads (and other perverted sex acts that shall remain unnamed)..  My car that drove me to Wellington to get my first tattoo..  My poor little decrepit, incapacitated baby..  Boo hoo!  Waaa waa!  You get the idea.

We are going to be fine.  I’m going to be fine.  I can let go.  Granted Sunny is priceless and has immense sentimental value but I’ll survive.  We can get rid of her.  We’ll make ends meet.  We’ll get something cheap and practical and really nerdy (like maybe a Hyundai or a Kia) and we’ll budget, budget, budget.  Less eating out.  No more Armani.  No more Healing Waters.  We can do it.  We’ll still have food in our bellies and I can have a more reliable car to drive and a new car to desecrate with my perverted sex acts.

This means I get to pick one out!  Which is just like shopping for clothes only ten times better!  I’ll get to have a CD player (since the 10 disc changer in Sunny quit working a couple of years ago), power windows, power locks..  Maybe even a sunroof?  And they come in such juicy colors!  How fun!

So while we’re picking out cars, I guess we could check out one of the brand new MR2 Spyders..  Or maybe a Mini Cooper convertible?  Or a Nissan NSX?  BMW M3?  Or maybe even a Lotus Elise!!  Holy shit!!

All of that in the span of three days!  Can you believe it?

[ P.S. I was just reading through this blog entry when I came to the realization that this would mean no more video games and no more sex toys and no more of a lot of things!  I think I’m back to the ANXIETY stage again.  Yikes! ]  

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Replies to "Stages of Grief"


Life After Marriage » Blog Archive » Remember When  on June 27, 2006

[…] Two years ago I blogged about the “Seven Stages of Mourning the Demise of Your Beloved but Shitty Vehicle.” Well, guess what. I finally got a new car! […]

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