This is a repost of an old journal entry dated January 7, 1999 originally posted on Chingay.com.. I’m reposting it in honor of my mom who recently received a speeding ticket while driving through Eastborough.<\/p>\n
Mom is the last person I’d expect to get a speeding ticket. After all, she drives like a grandma! Oh, wait! She IS a grandma!<\/p>\n
Those Eastborough cops are relentless. Sometimes we get lucky. Sometimes we don’t. Anyway, mom, this is for you.<\/p>\n
Guess what. I got pulled over by a cop on my way home a couple of nights ago. It was horrible. I wasn’t even wearing my seatbelt. I never do. I know I should, but it’s soo restrictive specially when you’re wearing a heavy coat. And you know how I like to sing at the top of my lungs and dance around (as though I’m a lunatic just released from an asylum suffering a seizure) when I’m alone in the car? The safety belt, while it’s for my own benefit, doesn’t really allow for a lot of mobility and just gets in the way.<\/p>\n
I didn’t even see the police car. He was driving North-bound on Rock Road, while I was driving South to my house. I was on the right-most lane and a bit distracted by the beauty of the full moon and the clear evening sky. Grooving to the music of Camp Lo, I wouldn’t even have noticed him had he not made the swiftest u-turn I’ve ever seen done in my entire life. All I could manage was an Oh, shit! under my breath and immediately, as sort of a reflex action, I turned down the volume of the stereo. But no, I didn’t remember to nonchallantly put my seatbelt on. As I rarely put it on, I didn’t think I was capable of inconspicuously putting it on. I just thought, Fuck it.<\/p>\n
I slowed down, of course. Having him chase me all over Derby wouldn’t help me in the least– that I knew for sure. So within seconds, he was right behind me with the colorful lights atop his vehicle whirling away amidst the darkness that engulfed us. I pulled over off to the side, on the gravel road-shoulder, a few yards from the 71st and Rock intersection.<\/p>\n
It took him a while to get out of his car and knock on my window. I think they do that on purpose, just to rattle your nerves. Finally, he came. I rolled down my window (I know, I don’t got power windows, doesn’t that just suck?) and squinted at his flashlight. He told me that he clocked me at seventy on a fifty-five (which I doubt is true– I didn’t think I was going seventy– I mean, I was going fast but not seventy– it might have seemed seventy from his perspective because he was, after all, driving toward me– but I didn’t argue– it would do very little good) and routinely asked for my driver’s license, which I cooperative handed him– after I fumbled through my purse for a minute or so (after I did the 32 flavors wallet project, I just hastily tossed everything into my bag– who would’ve thought I’d get pulled over?).<\/p>\n
He looks at it, then looks at me. He begins the standard interrogation with, Do you still live on Valley Stream Drive? I nod, hoping and praying he wouldn’t check the trunk and find Barry’s body. Just kidding. Forget that last part. I just nodded. And no, I didn’t kill Barry. Although I wish he would quit stalking me already. He’s like, I know your mom. Right then I realized, he had been one of the cops that helped my parents out during that ordeal with Jen. I think he might have received a Christmas basket (you know, one of those food baskets with salamis and cheese and stuff? those things are not cheap) as a token of their gratitude.<\/p>\n
Do you know that this is a 115-dollar ticket? he asked, glancing at my driver’s license in his hand another time and then added, What am I gonna do? He looked pensive for a moment, considering everything, and proposed a deal. He told me that he would just give me a warning ticket– I wouldn’t have to pay anything, it’s just a little piece of paper to remind me to drive safer next time, observe the posted speed limit and always wear my seatbelt. Man, was I relieved. Whew! Thank gawd, for that Christmas basket. I don’t think I could afford to pay another goddamn fine.<\/p>\n
Am I lucky or what? I could not believe it. I was sure he would write the ticket, too. I mean, just in the last three months Jen got three written against her. They were all over a hundred bucks, too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is a repost of an old journal entry dated January 7, 1999 originally posted on Chingay.com.. I’m reposting it in honor of my mom who recently received a speeding ticket while driving through Eastborough. Mom is the last person I’d expect to get a speeding ticket. After all, she drives like a grandma! Oh, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/657"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=657"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/657\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}