At the Wheatland Jam checkin, one of the event staff stopped my friend Chad. “Wait. I have to wand you,” he tells Chad. “Why?” I asked. “Oh, just to make sure that he’s not carrying anything that can be used as a weapon.” “What about me? Don’t you want to wand me?” He looked at me and kind of chuckled, “You really don’t have anywhere to put anything.” He did wave his wand around bit to pacify me, though. I say everyone should get the same treatment. If Chad gets wanded, then you need to wand me also. Then it dawned on me that my statement had a bit of sexual inuendo. I am slow sometimes. Anyway, I had to tell Chad about the time when Brian and I were at KFC and I asked him to eat my biscuit. It made sense to me at the time because I don’t like biscuits and my meal came with one. I wanted Brian to eat it so we wouldn’t have to toss it. Brian had to explain to me that biscuit is also a euphemism for female genitalia. After over ten years in the States, I’m still getting the hang of American English. At least, now I know better than to ask that same question in public. Today was fun. Though, it would’ve been more fun if I actually won the $2500 and trip for two to Vegas. \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
At the Wheatland Jam checkin, one of the event staff stopped my friend Chad. “Wait. I have to wand you,” he tells Chad. “Why?” I asked. “Oh, just to make sure that he’s not carrying anything that can be used as a weapon.” “What about me? Don’t you want to wand me?” He looked at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=378"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}