{"id":325,"date":"2005-04-30T18:23:11","date_gmt":"2005-05-01T00:23:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brubakers.us\/blog\/?p=480"},"modified":"2005-04-30T18:23:11","modified_gmt":"2005-05-01T00:23:11","slug":"cosmetic-surgery-for-your-vagina","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/?p=325","title":{"rendered":"Cosmetic Surgery for Your Vagina"},"content":{"rendered":"

File this<\/a> under the list of things I’ve never really thought about. Until two seconds ago when I witnessed an episode about labia menora reduction on Dr. 90210. <\/span><\/p>\n

I think I’m coming down with something. I was doing step class at the gym and then I got dizzy so I decided not to stay for the other two fitness classes that I normally do (high\/low and PHAT). Had I stayed and not come home I would’ve continued living my life not knowing that you could have cosmetic surgery for your vagina. <\/span><\/p>\n

I’d watched some pornos before where the women had really flappy, ugly-looking vaginas. I’ve never really looked at myself down there so sometimes I’ll comment on how gross it looks and ask Brian if my pussy is ugly like that. Brian always says no. He says that’s what happens to pornstars who have had way too much sexual intercourse. Their vaginas get worn out. <\/span><\/p>\n

How wrong he is! <\/span><\/p>\n

Apparently some women are born that way. And now they can do something about it. There are cosmetic surgeons today who specialize in labia reductions and laser vaginal tightening<\/a> for those who want to make their vaginas less scary-looking. The idea is really foreign to me, though.. And (the practitioners of this surgery are going to hate me for this) I feel it’s unnecessary for regular people. I mean, unless you’re a pornstar who makes a living off showing your vagina and having it filmed, no one really looks at that. I mean, really. <\/span><\/p>\n

I guess I can’t relate because I have a normal-looking vagina. If I had an ugly vagina I’d probably be singing a different tune. But then, of all the things you could spend money on, how could you justify spending money on something that only one other person will see? <\/span><\/p>\n

I can’t even justify getting a boob job and that’s what I really need because I have none. LOL! <\/span><\/p>\n

OMG! Speaking of things that I’ve never thought about, here’s another: bung hole bleaching. <\/span><\/p>\n

Are you serious? This is even more outlandish than the vaginal cosmetic surgery. I just watched pornstar Tabitha Stevens have the treatment done. They waxed her ass and then bleached her bung hole. <\/span><\/p>\n

I get my bikini wax at one o’clock today. I think I will ask Patricia if she’s ever heard of it and maybe we can try it on me one day. Just kidding! She’ll probably think I’m strange. Assuming she doesn’t think I am already. <\/span><\/p>\n

I’ll have to ask Brian if he thinks my bung hole is too dark and if he thinks it will be prettier if it’s bleached to the same color as my ass cheeks. Ha! Ha! Ha! Only in the United States! This stuff is insane! <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

File this under the list of things I’ve never really thought about. Until two seconds ago when I witnessed an episode about labia menora reduction on Dr. 90210. I think I’m coming down with something. I was doing step class at the gym and then I got dizzy so I decided not to stay for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[19,15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brubakers.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}