My Midlife Crisis – Finding My Happy

For those that missed my Facebook Live rant, the blog will become more and more personal, and less “watered down” or “censored.” I feel for myself it should serve a multipurpose, especially since I have found less and less time to journal, and more and more time posting on Facebook which for some people seem “excessive.” I’m not saying I’ll be posting less on other social media but definitely, I need to use this blog more as an outlet for how I feel and what I think. It’s not for anyone else, but for myself. I think it’ll more therapeutic and inspiring for myself, and for anyone else that might want to read it, take from it what you want.

I sat at Barleycorn’s (local bar) last night and started a conversation with the bartender, “So you don’t know me…” I think that’s a great opening because it tells them this conversation is not going to be normal. Finally, I asked when are you supposed to have a midlife crisis and he states “depends on when your life ends” and I thought what if I die tomorrow, I already missed it. And he said “Live each day like it’s a midlife crisis.” That was so good, I told him I’d write it down and I did.

Now, I’m starting my midlife crisis, and I don’t know when and if it will end.

Watching the movie “Mad Tiger” Kengo Hioki (AKA Peelander Yellow) explained his history in art and painting and finally after 10 to 20 years finding it ridiculous and “killing” his art.

“Resetting myself? No. It was an execution. I wanted to kill myself. I also hated myself. That’s why I wanted to kill myself.”

So, this is my version of my execution. Somewhere along the line I thought I could be the cookie cutter adult. Kill that. I’d rather be happy.

Kengo and I at Barleycorn’s last night


Yes, I’m quoting a guy that looks like Pikachu, and he’s sort of grumpy in the movie, but who isn’t now and then. He eat your smile, though! Gotta catch them all! That should be a life motto.

Watch “Mad Tiger” trailer:

*also available to stream on Netflix

And to end, another quote from the movie:

1 John 4:18 … ‘There’s no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment.’

Our fear originates from relationships with people. That’s where our fear is coming from. We put a mask on to pretend that as if everything’s going well and just have a facade and superficial relationships. That’s how we end up becoming insincere to each other by lying and deceiving.

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