Archive of ‘Randoms’ category

Was I asleep in 2010?

In 2010 I officially became a panda:

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I did Memphis trips and Dallas trips:

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And Ben invited me to my first ever float trip. It was in Oklahoma and there were no pictures, but there was: a heat warning, a chick fight, and a very unreliable air mattress.

I got obsessed with Tudors.

I discovered Helen Austin:

And Anthony Jeselnik:

And for some reason really wanted a puff coat:

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I made a dog analogy in pertaining to relationships:

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And I posted a couple poems:

*for him that was loved so much, yet never loved at all.

Every word from my mouth dedicated to you
Every gaze from my eyes a longing for your touch
I gave you days that went on for months
And yet you knew me not

My affections I generously lavished upon you
Every breath was a token of my love
Great pains I endured with silent patience
And yet you knew me not

So what if suddenly I was taken from you
Should I fancy that you’ve noticed I’ve gone
All of the crying would prove accidental
Because you knew me not

And another:

Awake

I sit and romaticize and sit and plot
Fantasies created and never to be got
Those words back and forth never meant a thing
Those promises promises you never would bring

I sit and plan a future so bright
If only you would, if only I might
Nothing’s to be set and nothing’s to come true
I’m still silly me and you’re always about you.

And when it’s all said and done
There’s the “I should have known better”
That you were not what I sought
And we weren’t meant to be together

So do I still have time for tears
Or do I quietly let this pass
You weren’t the first
And I guess you’re not the last.

Other things that happened:

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2009 – Medicated and Yet Not Quite Stable.

2009 was pretty level. I had been diagnosed late 2008 with bipolar manic depressive disorder and I had been on steady medication. I was still adjusting to the side effect of constantly being sleepy, and created a 3 RedBull a day habit, and that’s after my morning coffee. My coworkers have a collection of pictures of me asleep in my cube. All in good fun. This was also the year of my first visit to Fort Worth, never knowing I’d eventually end up living here. Other things that happened:

I had created a must-have list for my dream guy:

  • Must have full time job.
  • Must have extensive vocabulary.
  • Atleast 5’11” 🙂
  • Good fashion sense.
  • Must like going to see live bands, but must not be in band.
  • Must like doing field trip-ish activities.

Also a list of things to do to avoid other peoples drama:

1. Pretend you can’t speak English.
2. Yell, “You go girl!” to everything they say.
3. Grab a Snickers.

Amazon decided to pick up my poetry book for a minute:

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I made “badass” friends:

I barely worked:

But near the end of the year:

“Me – I get up at by 6am every morning, 6:30am at the latest. I work from 7am – 4pm Monday to Friday. I get home, eat dinner, get on facebook, watch TV and then go to bed. On Friday nights and Saturdays I try to spend time with my friends and relax. Sundays are for laundry and relaxing. Then it starts all over again.

Work – Pretty routine. Mondays are always hectic. I have set my own stats to meet on Mondays. If I don’t meet those stats I am behind for the rest of the week. Which I don’t like. If I meet my stats on Monday, I am coasting for the rest of the week. Coasting means I have more time to help my coworkers meet their stats, which ultimately helps me in the long run.

Social – Almost non-existent. I go out probably once every other week now. I go out, as in, to the bars. I eat out almost every day – I can’t cook.

That’s pretty much it. Life is starting to settle down. Whew!”

I guess 2009, a little bit of growned-up-ness popped up:

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Blogging and watching FIFA – 2008

The year I crushed on Jason Mraz:

I discovered art in Wichita’s Ulrich Museum:

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http://www.josephinedurkin.com

I posted this poem:

I Only Want You

From between the sheets
Straight into the fire
A boy met by happenstance
Became my one true desire
I’ll deal with the devil
If him I’ll acquire
I’ll make myself his queen
And never retire

Emotion that can’t be swayed
I only want you
The fantasy of love and romance
I’ll make it all come true
Now the only lie remains
Is that I’m meant to be with you
I only want you

I melt with his eyes
And sink into his skin
Prayers of lust from his tongue
Absolves my every sin
I’ve created a pedestal
Never caring where he’s been
The past is an enemy
He and I will both win

Emotion that can’t be swayed
I only want you
The fantasy of love and romance
I’ll make it all come true
Now the only lie remains
Is that I’m meant to be with you
I only want you

From between the sheets
A ring of thorns
A martyr I made
With a pair of horns
By happenstance I met him
And our passion was born
A fantasy we created
Never to be torn

I eventually joined Facebook and took a personality test. If you don’t like reading skip to the bottom, my “disorder”, it’s SOOO dramatic.

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Daddy bought a Beretta Cx4 Storm Carbine; Semi-Auto .40 S&W; 14 rounds, which I still don’t know what it looks like, or what it does, because I’m not allowed to play with his toys, but it prompted me to post this music video, by Kathleen Edwards, called Back To Me, just because of the line “and my Daddy’s coming for you.” Lol!

And then I moved URLS, my sister’s idea, it’s always her idea, but now I only pay for the domain name and I squat in her cyber space. And it all started with this video:

I swear sometimes my sister is just looking for ways to make me more marketable. For what? No clue.

I developed an addiction for Snickers Ice Cream Bars chronicled by my then boyfriend. I have since recovered and am taking it one day at a time:

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I read and posted the Twilight Saga in PDF format, and I’m glad I didn’t waste money on it. Still reading is better than watching, I kept cringing through the movie that my friend bribed me to watch with her. But since it’s already uploaded, want not waste not, here it is for anyone still needing them.

Also here’s the partial draft for Midnight Sun that’s yet to be published:

I wrote someone a poem and sent it to them:

Almost

Another almost hero gone
An almost prince charming slipped
From my grasp
Just like that
He was retarded I think
Or maybe a little too smart
He ran before there was time
To know whats what
And that’s how he went
My last almost hero
And I sit and wait for my phone to buzz
Maybe the almost hero
Will be not smart enough and come back
Until then I have my almost poems
My almost poems that
Are not Bukowski’s
He would know what to write
What to do
He would drink it away I’m sure
Succesful poets can do that
Drink things away
I have to sit in my 9 to 5
Writing almost poems
Waiting for almost heroes

And I added “Remember I told you I wrote a poem about you being retarded. There it is.” and his response, “damn….that’s pretty fuckin good darling” – so, still not sure but definitely mentally damaged.

And Then I watched The Day The Earth Stood Still, and Keanu Reeves and I started a relationship. Lol!

And the other pictures that happened:

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Whew! So, as the pattern occurs, I became more active in my blogging, and this was the condensed version of 2008. Just in time to concentrate on FIFA. Good job, me.

I went through 2007 from 2am to 3am

Boyfriend said to get hobby – he didn’t know…

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This is how I blogged in 2007 and it’s pretty much like right now, except I’m on the couch, without my glasses and a towel on. I had a couple people trying to get a hold of me around midnight from ICT and I’m pretty much up except, I really wanted to be in church this morning. I hope I can still make it.

But, without further adieu, the recap:

1. I discovered Kurt Halsey.

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2. I did my first and only (so far) jury duty, while I was still working for The City of Wichita.

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3. I started playing golf.

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4. Quit case desk and started working with Matt and Jen for a tax software company.

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(Jen kept sneaking by to take pictures and sometimes I never even noticed her.)

5. I moved back in with Mom and Dad when they got their new house.

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6. And I did my first round of road trips to Memphis for my best friend’s bachelorette, and then her wedding.

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(We wrapped her up so she could eat tacos.)

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This is also when I started getting into the Martial Arts Films – Ran, Fearless, and The Curse of The Golden Flower. (Nope, no Keanu Reeves in any of those.)

Now, I’m going to see if I can nap a bit more before church. Maybe this afternoon I can spin through 2008.

Let me take you back…2006

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I will begin with 2006: Self proclaimed “Multitasker Girl”.

“I am not Kara of Krypton. I am Jenni of Earth. My super powers are not something alien, nor something I was born with. My power is something that took 25 years to perfect. I am a Multitasker!

Stemming from the fear of being left out I mastered the art of being in more than one place at any given time. I can consolidate lunch dates with doctor’s appointments, do homework while I drive, and successfully attend three or more dinner functions in one night.

Learning from the age-old lesson that Time is Money, I do laundry, wash dishes, vacuum and watch TV all at the same time.

Determined to play all the roles I have in life – daughter, sister, mother, friend, employee, student, etc. – seemlessly and simultaneously, I am Multitasker Girl!”

And I had just discovered the joys of having a digital camera:

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And photo editing my bitterness:

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My poem for the phase, from my one of my now all time faves, Dorothy Parker:

Finis

Now it’s over, and now it’s done;
Why does everything look the same?
Just as bright, the unheeding sun, —
Can’t it see that the parting came?
People hurry and work and swear,
Laugh and grumble and die and wed,
Ponder what they will eat and wear, —
Don’t they know that our love is dead?

Just as busy, the crowded street;
Cars and wagons go rolling on,
Children chuckle, and lovers meet, —
Don’t they know that our love is gone?
No one pauses to pay a tear;
None walks slow, for the love that’s through, —
I might mention, my recent dear,
I’ve reverted to normal, too.

And as always, ends with a lesson learned through a quote I read (before memes and Pinterest):

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not something to be waited for; but, rather something to be achieved.”- William Jennings Bryan

And I’d like to note that quote and see if I can carry on with that in mind, but first, more reminiscing in the following posts. Because I said so.

My 2006 looked like this:

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And sounded like this (a couple of my poems):

(1)
Today…

The wind whispered something suspicious
And the sun smiled with knowledge of some inside joke
I sat inside waiting for it to rain convinced that the world is against me
I watched a flock of birds bath in a pool of mud
The world is against them too

(2)
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What is done is done
And we shouldn’t look back
At what we could’ve gained
And what we always lacked

As Rome lays in ruins
So must our souls
For a chance to try
We all pay the toll

No need for the struggle
Nor to lay any blame
We were just pretending
And this was just a game

A sordid lesson
Everyone must learn
Promises are always broken
And hearts always burn

WELCOME(…again.)

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Attempting a complete revamp of the website. Of course, because I am a true chronicler of times (I’ve kept all my journals since 7th grade) I imported my past posts into an ebook version using a free program Fast Pencil. I’m not sure how effective it will be. Apparently, I had accumulated 241 posts and that’s just from WordPress, I am currently at 198 of 241. I’m not even going to try to convert Blogger and Tumblr. While that was going I got a new template that might be more reader friendly, I hope.

Why the revamp? Because I said so. Just like “washing that man out of your hair,” just like “spring cleaning,” we are programmed to rid ourselves of things passed to refresh ourselves, and because the website is a big part of my life, it is being affected. I’m sure most of you are relieved. Let’s see what new things I can come up with now.

Also, because I am a genius, there are some posts I might be salvaging, because they are meant to stay online, because they are works of art, because I said so. (Seeing a theme yet?) I’ll be going through chronologically, of course, from Blogger to this to Tumblr and maybe some Tweets and FB posts. Because I said so. “Tis all I have to say for now. If you’ve been here before, I hope you enjoy the coming changes. If you are brand spanking new, warning! I will begin with an actual post once this revamp is officially a success. Thanks for your patience.

P.S. WordPress 241 posts, 540 PDF pages. Geez! Well, deleted from online, and since I’ve borrowing cyberspace from my sister, I’ll have to ring her and see if that freed up some space to create a whole new set of shananigans.

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